KIMBO SLICE “ALMOST FAMOUS”…ALMOST.

 

REAL FIGHTERS DON'T NEED LIPS......IS KIMBO GOING HOLLYWOOD?

 

 

Kimbo Slice, the real-life version of “Debo”, was scheduled to co-star in a children’s movie “Kung Fu U” with Hulk Hogan. The film is being produced by Stereo Vision Entertainment, Inc. The film production company issued a press release stating that Kimbo Slice was set to co-star in the movie on July 30th. 

Stereo Vision’s Chairman, “Baywatch” creator Doug Schwartz, stated, “We’re very happy to have Kimbo Slice co-starring in ‘Kung Fu U.’ He has an enormous media presence, and he’ll fit right in with our star Hulk Hogan, and the other cast members in our made for kids 3D movie. We hope to have ‘Kung Fu U’ in 3D in theatres by the fall of ‘09.” 

 

When I first read this I thought this would be a great move for Kimbo to reach a broader audience. Also it would also be nice for him to live the pampered life of an actor for a few weeks,  as opposed to beating the ish out of people for a living. Only a few days later, August 8th to be exact, I read that Kimbo was no longer involved with the film.

Aug 08, 2008 (BUSINESS WIRE) —-Stereo Vision Entertainment, Inc. (OTCBB: SVSN), a film production company focused exclusively on developing high quality, low cost, polarized 3D feature films, announced today that due to a misunderstanding among the agents involved with the Kimbo Slice deal, Stereo Vision is retracting the press release announcing that Kimbo Slice was to co-star in Stereo Vision’s Kung Fu U 3D movie. Stereo Vision will therefore be seeking a suitable replacement for that role.

With Kimbo’s growing popularity this kids movie  would have done huge numbers at the box office. Everything that Kimbo is involved in gets crazy high ratings, just look at how many hits he has on youtube. So I wonder what the real reason was as to why Kimbo is no longer part of the movie. In the press release from he film company they claim it was a “misunderstanding” among the agents involved in the deal.  I am willing to guess they were trying to underpay Slice so they could reap more profits at the box offices and with merchandise (you know they already had plans for the Kimbo Slice action-figure).

MY TOP 3 REASONS KIMBO SLICE IS NO LONGER INVOLVED WITH “KUNG FU U”

1. The More Cake Theory:  Kimbo makes a ton of money making appearances and fighting on the MMA circuit with a undefeated record (3-0). I am sure his agent fought for Kimbo to get a slice of the merchandising and DVD sales of the movie, but co-starring with the infamous Hulk Hogan the film producers know where their bread is buttered and probably told Kimbo’s agent to kick rocks. Besides, the Hulkster probably has Andre The Giant sized legal fees to pay after his son nearly killed his homie who was riding shotgun as the young Hogan totaled his car while racing on the highway in Florida. 

2. Buffoonery Theory:  You know Hollywood will never change. They probably looked at the stature of Kimbo and probably wanted to make him perform some buffoonish acts on the silver screen. You know how they like to make the big black guys do dumb shit, like dress up as a woman (Ving Rhames, Tyler Perry, Tim Crews) or play the “big dumb” black guy role (Michael Clarke Duncan “The Green Mile”, “Planet of the Apes”) Although Kimbo is an initmidating figure, I don’t believe he is stupid, just look how he promoted him self from street fighting in the MI-yayo to being a world reknowned figure in the hottest sport in the country. 

3. Mr. T: By playing in a comedy flick for kids this could ruin his credibility  to play a believable version of B.A. Barrakus in the A-Team movie. For example remember Lorenz Tate? He played the uber thug ‘O-dog’ in MENACE II SOCIETY. After that he played a punk ass coming of age teen in the INKWELL, and then he played the drug addicted role of Frankie Lymon in WHY DO FOOLS FALL IN LOVE. But, it was a wrap for him after that. Playing those ‘soft’ roles, he will never be beleivable a tough guy again, and I don’t want to see Kimbo trying go LOVE JONES on us by doing romantic spoken word poetry in a film…ever! The 80’s are hot right now, you know they will be coming out with an A-Team movie. Even though Kimbo rocks the braids on the side of his bald dome (somebody needs to tell him to cut it off, but I ain’t that brave) with the right stylist he could pull off the perfect Mr. T.  When he is  casted as Mr. T, he will get major cake and become even more popular. And remember…you heard it here first.

 

My last two cents on Kimbo…I know he is a beast, but why is he shaving his chest hair?  Maybe the fame is getting to his head or maybe he is on some L.L. Cool J pretty boy ish.  Check out his picture below…He has a line up on his chest…WTF? Part of his intimidation is his menacing look, but shaving his chest hair is very metrosexual. Kimbo please…no more pectoral shaves. Keep the chest naps a.k.a. taco meat, and continue dominating in the ring. Maybe he can start shaving his chest hair after he gets a couple of movies under his belt.  With the way Hollywood promotes metrosexuals, Kimbo (minus the ‘taco meat’) will blend right in.